Biker Bunk
Jun 21st, 2009 by Sean
Cyclists are strange. An old family friend, when referring to these people, used to mockingly ask, “When did you start having to wear tight shorts to ride a bike?”
Don’t get me wrong. I’m all for people exercising and I don’t care what they wear. I exercise quite a bit and it’s actually when I’m running that I get particularly irritated with cyclists, or as I prefer, bikers. And it’s not about their obvious love for spandex, though many would do well to recognize that the 80s are long been behind them. Rather, it’s about attitude.
When I run, I almost always run against traffic. A biker, or a pack of bikers, rides with traffic. When we’re going opposite ways, we’re on the same side of the road.
I suppose that I’m a fool to think that in unfriendly New England, bikers, passing in close proximity to me, would say hello. Sure, I say hello, but from their crotch-killing perches, the bikers just stare at me as though I’m from a different world. No, I don’t expect people in cars to slow, roll the windows down, and holler a warm greeting, but these are people like me, people out to get exercise in the fresh air. Isn’t there some essence of camaraderie?
As soon as I spot the bikers, I can usually predict the likelihood of an ignored greeting. The more spandex, the more aerodynamic the helmet, the less likely a hello will be returned. If they’re wearing a jersey with a cycling club logo on it, it’s more likely I’ll get an intelligent reply from one of the cows I often pass than from the fashionable biker.
But, I’m used to the snubs. What really pisses me off is when they won’t move over. You know, you’ve seen them. These are the people that ride two or three across, taking up half the street. Yet, when a runner is coming the other way, they hug the side of the road with enthusiasm. Numerous times I’ve been running, had a greeting fall on deaf ears, and then been forced off the asphalt by a two-wheeled twit. They act like they’re entitled to all of the road. I imagine them saying, “Oh, little runner, you keep on running, but we’re fancy and we have fancy bikes, so jump off the road when we ride by.” And, not wanting to collide, I do.
Entitlement. They think the road is theirs alone. But, where are they when the mercury drops, when the snow flies? Their trusty rides can’t handle the conditions like my simple feet do. Even when it only rains, their ranks thin dramatically. They must be afraid of that muddy spray that would shoot off their rear wheels and give their spandex shirts unwelcome, racing stripes.
When you think about it, these brazen bikers, when they do venture out, wouldn’t do so well if I weren’t as accommodating. If I didn’t get off the road, they’d probably hit me. Sure, they’d have speed on their side and my right shoulder would feel it when the handlebars hit it. But, I would have a lower center of gravity working for me. After the collision, they’d be launched off their saddles to have head, elbows, knees, and fingers be quickly introduced to the road. I like my chances better.
Are there any cyclists out there who can explain your collective behavior? Are there any runners who have been run off the street?
Photo courtesy of Philms.
I am not a runner (as you know) so I haven’t experienced the runner vs. cycler issue. However, I do notice they don’t say “hi” very often when I’m out walking the dog. If they say anything, it is usually to the dog and not me!
This is a different kind of biker but the bike messengers in the city are crazy! They’d run over a car or at least try to get where they want to go. I will say that most of them aren’t trying to look like Lance Armstrong up on their bikes. Their attire consists more of a helmet, tatoos, big holes in their ears, etc.
Maybe being that high off the ground gives cyclists a sense of superiority.
How about driving on a country with bikers riding five abreast and refusing to give way so you can pass; too many of them have the all to prevalent “Its all about me attitude”.
I rode a bike almost every day summer and winter (no leotards!) until I obtained my drivers licence I’m convinced that many of the bikers today couldn’t tie their shoes when they were younger and now because they ride a bike in clown costumes they consider themselves extreme athletes.
Too funny!! I’m not a runner, but I am a power walker and I have had similar experiences with cyclists. I continue to say hi to them and rarely even get a nod back. I just laugh and think at least I am being the bigger person. As for the tight biking shorts, no offense to you men out there, but there are numerous jokes that state that a man thinks with something other than his brain. So, maybe these cyclists’ “brains” are being soo squished by their spandex that their speech capability has been cut off. Freud would say I’m rationalizing and he would be correct, I think cyclists’ behavior just boils down to rudeness and egocentrism.
Nice to have you writing again, I’ve missed G&G a lot.
I was just going to write you about where G & G was. Maybe I was dropped or something? I love this topic as I know a “biker”, who MIGHT or might not fit into these descriptions. I had a good laugh reading Rabbit Legs comment.
Dear Sean,
Tell those snooty bikers that it is against the law (at least in Maryland) for them to ride anything but single file.
See you in July!
Mary Cahill
I like your chances better too. Those fancy pants better watch out! As far as cordiality, I would have to agree runners are a friendlier crowd.
@bythesea, I’m selfishly glad it’s not only me!
@JJMIII, I think you have the actual quotation right!
@Rabbitlegs, That’s a theory, but what about the female riders?
@Karen, Thanks for waiting!
@Mary, I don’t think they’d listen!
@Soccermama, Runners are more friendly.